Am I successful? That's a question I've asked myself many times. When I first asked myself this, it was based on academic success, which I will confess has always come easy to me. When I next asked myself, it was a few years later, and I had become part of the corporate workforce, rapid rising, well respected in my chosen career, and with high earnings potential. Yet I didn't have a family, and that jarred a bit, because when I'd imagined my life when I was younger, it was always as a mother. In addition to other roles, definitely, I somehow balanced a great career with a stable home life and 3 great children. So how could I see myself as successful when there was something I had always wanted missing. Yet maybe, I thought, all that is really missing is time. I was still youngish, and nothing was out of my reach. Two years ago, I realized that this laissez-faire attitude to the rest of my life, and a dedication to my work above all else, was ensuring that my success would only ever be one-dimensional.
Maybe I realized it too late, but I've been fortunate enough that I can step off the upward slope at my work, into a place with a far more gradual slope, doing a job I enjoy, working hard, but not slaving away. And I can start to pay attention to the rest of me. I have redefined what means success for me, and it is definitely not all about money. I may never have a family, but I have come to terms with that possibility. What I refused to accept was that I needed to trade the middle part of my life for comfort and luxury in retirement. So I'm still working at it, but I now see a successful person more as someone who has managed to live a rich and fulfilling life, and you don't need money to do that.
What I do need is energy, and for some reason, I've been short of it the last year or so. I think if you plotted my overall energy levels on a graph, it would be a downward trend for most of my life. Not a steep fall off, but just a gradual falling away of my life force. I've been lacking in mental, social and physical stimulation, and that I'm going to put an end to. Easier said than done, for sure, but at least I have identified the issues, and now I can begin to manage them.
Physically, I've been working out for a couple of weeks on a regular basis. I'm unfit, although I'm underweight most of the time. Fortunately, exercise stimulates my appetite, so I've been eating better since I started working out. Long may it last.
Socially, I haven't worked out yet. I need to push myself back into social situations more than I am right now. I'll let you know how that goes.
And mentally, I'm struggling the most with how to tackle. I need something to really challenge me, and I've got aI feeling my brain is composting slowly. I need a big project that I can wrap myself up in, but I haven't found anything that suits my situation yet. Maybe this is my goal for the next week or so - to find something to challenge myself with.
Anyway, that's it for today. 2 posts in 2 days - I have to give myself room for my blogging to deteriorate over time, so it's nice that I've started out strong.
Later,
Jo
What currently has my attention?
Today was a music day, and I went looking for some new things I might like
what I found:
"Set the fire to the third bar" by Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright
"Stop the music" by the Pipettes
"The room" by the Twilight Sad
What is currently annoying me?
My sofa. We badly need a new one, but I can't seem to drag us out to shop for one. I love shopping, but I hate furniture shopping. Maybe too many lost in ikea traumas, or the fact that it always takes up the whole day, but I rarely find something I fall in love with.
What am I looking forward to?
Summer. I know, I look forward to random things. But it is a really beautiful day today, except that it is a little too cool to get maximum enjoyment out of it. I would love to have a HOT day so I can bask in the sun, which I haven't done in so long a time.
What did I learn today?
I learnt that the human body temperature can vary as much as 1 degree (f) over the course of a day from it's high to it's low. How I learnt it, is random enough to talk about - I was coaching a friend through some issues they were having with a stats class, and at the end of it all we were puzzling through how someone could take a sample of temperatures and get the wrong answer. So in reading up about human body temperatures, I learned a lot about how they can change through the day.
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